Sis, Let’s Talk About Saying No as a Leader

This week marked the kickoff of the blackout chaos, and whew, it’s been A LOT! If you didn’t know, aside from being a leadership coach for over a decade, I’m also walking that first-time entrepreneur life. And right now, I’m clocking in at one of the infamous retail leaders.

Every day, I deal with all kinds of folks, from the sweet grannies who make your day to the ones who test your patience with that same energy they brought to spades night. Take this lady, for example. She rolled up with a shirt she bought over a year ago, talking about how her son couldn’t fit it anymore. Sis, the shirt was practically vintage at this point!

Normally, I’d try to work something out, but the way she got loud and rude? I had to pause, adjust my crown, and remind myself: I’m a leader, not a doormat.

Now, here’s the tea: saying no doesn’t mean you’re being mean or difficult. It means you respect yourself and the role you’re in. So, I calmly explained the policy and held my ground. Did she get mad? Sure did. But you know what? That’s not my problem.

If you’re a leader, especially a Black woman in leadership, people will test you, sometimes because they’re not used to seeing us in charge. So, how do you set boundaries and protect your peace? Here are 3 practical steps to saying no (with a little Black culture flair):

1. Get Clear on Your Policy (a.k.a. Your Non-Negotiables)
Think of this as your “mama rules.” Growing up, you knew certain things weren’t up for discussion. No running in and out of the house. No dishes left in the sink overnight. The same applies to leadership. Know your boundaries and stick to them.

2. Say No with Confidence (Channel Your Auntie Energy)
You know that auntie who can shut down nonsense with one look? Be her. When you say no, do it firmly and kindly. For example: “I hear what you’re saying, but this is what we’re able to do.” No need to over-explain or apologize for doing your job.

3. Prioritize What Matters (Remember Who You’re Driving For)
As a leader, you’re driving the bus, and your team is riding with you. If you let every passenger tell you where to go, you’ll lose sight of the destination. Keep your focus on what truly matters—your goals and your growth.

Saying no isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. Remember, sis, every no is a yes to your leadership, your peace, and your respect. And trust me, when you hold your boundaries, people notice—and they’ll respect you even more for it.

So, adjust your crown, take a deep breath, and keep driving. You got this! 🖤👑

Sis, let me talk to you real quick. Setting boundaries in leadership isn’t just about protecting your time; it’s about protecting your peace, your energy, and your confidence. And as a Black woman stepping into your first leadership role? Whew, chile, that’s a whole new ballgame. Folks will test you, assume you're the “strong Black woman” who can handle it all, and then some. But you know what? It’s time to flip that script.

Here’s how to say “no” with confidence and culture:

1. Channel Your Inner Auntie Wisdom
You know that one auntie who doesn’t mince words? The one who can hit you with a “bless your heart” and have you rethinking your whole life? Be her. When someone asks you for something that’s not your responsibility or stretches you too thin, smile and say, “I can’t do that, but let me help you figure out another solution.” It’s giving firm, yet caring—just like Auntie.

2. Use the Beyoncé Pause
Remember how Queen Bey pauses during interviews before she answers? She’s not rushing; she’s thinking. When someone pressures you for an answer, don’t feel the need to fill the silence. Take a moment, breathe, and say, “Let me get back to you on that.” That pause buys you time to decide whether the request aligns with your goals—or if it’s something to politely decline.

3. Bring Out the Black Mama Tone
We all know that tone—warm but firm, a mix of “I love you” and “don’t try me.” Practice it. When you have to say no, deliver it with calm authority. For example: “I hear you, but that’s not something I can take on right now.” No extra explanations. No apologies. That’s your boundary, and it’s not up for debate.

 
Final Thoughts
Saying no as a leader isn’t about being mean; it’s about respecting yourself and teaching others to respect you, too. When you step into your leadership, remember: boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re bridges to your peace and purpose. So, sis, next time someone tries you? Pause, channel your inner Beyoncé, and let that Black Mama tone shine through. You’ve got this. 👑