Surrendering More Than Just My Finances

So, I missed the blog last week because I was at Woman Evolve, and I thought I could write something quick while I was there. Well, I was wrong! I should’ve known from last year that I’d be emotionally drained and nowhere near ready to blog. But here we are.

For those who don’t know, Woman Evolve is a movement led by Sarah Jakes Roberts (aka SJR), where thousands of women come together every year. This year's theme was Surrender. Now, when you look up “surrender,” it’s all about stopping resistance and submitting to authority. That had me thinking about what I need to surrender, and I thought, "Oh, easy—my finances." But let me tell you, my finances have been my security blanket. I’d finally reached a place where I was comfortable, making enough to not just survive, but thrive.

As the conference went on, every speaker touched on surrender in some way. Then we got to Dr. Anita Phillips, and let me tell you, she always tugs at my heart. She talked about Mother Wounds. At one point, she had us pair up and stand back-to-back with the woman next to us. For me, that was my mom. We leaned into each other, symbolizing trust, support, and that it was safe to let my walls down.

See, there was a time when I chose privacy over leaning into my mom. I’ve been through things—abuse, heartbreak, tough choices—and I dealt with them alone because I didn’t feel like I could lean on her. Dr. Anita explained how privacy can be a mother wound: some of us were told to leave the door open, and others were never checked on. I was in that second group.

My finances became my safety net, my moma, because they never let me down. If I needed something, my money handled it. I’d even take payday loans or use that Wells Fargo advance feature, knowing my next check was coming. Money gave me the privacy I craved.

But in that moment at Woman Evolve, leaning into my mom, I realized that wall of trust could be rebuilt. Finances were my mom’s safety net too, and when she didn’t have it, she’d tell me she did, only for me to figure it out on my own. Just like with my business—I had no clue what my next steps were outside of God telling me to quit my job and start this journey. Now, there are moments when I need my mom, and for the first time in a long time, she’s been able to show up.

So at the end of the day I discovered I wasn’t just surrendering my finances—I was surrendering stability for obedience. And honestly? I’m okay with that. I discovered out of this whole experience is sometimes what we hold onto the tightest is exactly what we need to let go of. And if you’re ready to lean into your next step, sis, you got this.