The Day I Was Called "Too Confident"

Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems fine, but then someone says something that sticks with you in a way you didn’t expect?

Let me tell you about a day I won’t forget. I woke up feeling ready to take on the world. I had my favorite blazer on, my coffee just right, and I was about to lead a team meeting. I’d prepared my points, made sure everyone had a chance to speak, and I even redirected a few conversations to stay on track. I felt good about it. I was in my element, doing my job to the best of my ability.

But then, after the meeting, I got a message from someone on the team. They said, “You did well, but you seemed a little too confident. Maybe tone it down next time.”

Wait, what?

I was shocked. I hadn’t been loud. I wasn’t rude or mean. I was simply leading—like I was supposed to. But here I was, sitting at my desk, camera off, wondering if being confident, being clear, was somehow wrong.

I started questioning everything. Did I speak too firmly? Should I have smiled more? Did I make people uncomfortable? Was I coming off too strong?

It’s not easy when that kind of feedback hits. You start to doubt yourself, even when you know deep down that you did nothing wrong. And that’s the part no one really talks about. The quiet second-guessing that happens after you lead. The moment you wonder if your strength is too much for others to handle.

But then, something clicked. I realized that I wasn’t the problem. I didn’t need to shrink myself to make others comfortable. I didn’t need to apologize for being confident or for leading the way I know best.

Instead, I started doing something simple but powerful: I kept track of my wins. Every time I helped someone, solved a problem, or made a decision that worked, I wrote it down. I didn’t need anyone else’s approval—I had my own receipts. These little reminders helped me build my confidence back up.

And now, whenever someone says I’m “too confident,” I simply smile and say, “Thank you.” Because I know that being confident isn’t a flaw—it’s an asset. I would rather be too confident than too small, and so should you.

If you’ve ever felt like this, I want you to know something: you’re not alone. You’re not too much. The way you lead, the way you show up, is exactly what the world needs. Don’t shrink for anyone. Keep showing up with that same confidence, and remember—your leadership matters.