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This might surprise you, but not all feedback is worth stressing over. Some folks will have a perception of you that has nothing to do with who you really are. I’ve had complaints made against me three times in my life, and each one taught me a valuable lesson. Let me share my journey and how I grew from it.The first time, I was 26 years old at church. There was an older woman in charge of the kids' ministry when I joined. Instead of welcoming me, she tried to bully me. And what did I do? I fled. I let her push me out of what I knew God had placed in my heart. But looking back, I now see it as a “Character-Building Moment,” as Les Brown would say. I used to dim my light, trying to make others comfortable. But I’ve learned that I’m not average. I’m a tenacious, fearless, and resilient woman. It took time, but I found my strength.Fast forward 10 years to the second complaint. This time, I was 36. An emotionally unstable employee had been manipulated by another co-worker after I wrote them up. I was furious! But I knew I needed to lean into the lesson. The key? Keep showing up as me. Don’t treat people how they treat you—treat them how you want to be treated. Some may see that as passive, but it’s my way.By the time the third complaint came, I was calm. A peer wanted to be in leadership but kept dumping their tasks on me. I wasn’t even fazed because I had learned something valuable: when folks attack your character or leave your life without a word, it’s about them, not you.&nbsp;So, for all my first-time leaders, here’s how to handle complaints when they come your way: 1. Stay True to Yourself: Don’t let someone’s opinion change how you see yourself. 2. Learn from Every Situation: There’s always a lesson, even when it’s tough. 3. Keep Moving Forward: People will come and go. What matters is how you handle it.Remember, complaints don’t define you. Keep shining, keep growing, and most importantly, keep showing up as you!

All Feedback Ain't Good Feedback: How I Handled Complaints & Learned to Lead

Businesswoman giving presentation in front of her colleagues in office

I remember being written up once in my leadership career. What started as a verbal discussion quickly turned into an official write-up. My peers and I were tasked with overseeing a process for one of our clients, ensuring we were meeting our contractual obligations. But, to be honest, we were doomed from the start—it was an unrealistic promise made by our CEO.In September or October of 2016, I was called into the office and told that I didn’t follow the process, which resulted in the client being upset. I was given a verbal warning. I sat there and just took it because, at that moment, I knew this was a battle I couldn’t win. Fast-forward to December, and I was pulled in again. This time, I was officially written up for the same issue from October. Because of this write-up, I lost my bonus that month.Talk about being mad—I was furious. It felt like I was undervalued and being mistreated, especially since it was my Christmas bonus on the line. But, in that moment, I learned some valuable lessons about handling write-ups and knowing your worth as a leader.Step 1: Don’t Take It Personally Getting written up, whether it’s fair or not, isn’t a reflection of your value. As a leader, you’re going to face challenges, and sometimes that includes being criticized. But remember, this moment doesn’t define your entire leadership journey.Step 2: Own Your Part Even when the situation feels unfair, it’s important to own what’s yours. If you’ve made a mistake, acknowledge it and show a willingness to improve. Taking responsibility is a sign of growth, and as a leader, you should always strive to be better. For me, I had to accept that, in some way, I could’ve handled the situation differently.Step 3: Communicate and Clarify Sometimes, a write-up is based on miscommunication. Don’t be afraid to open up a dialogue with your boss or the person who issued the write-up. Ask questions, seek clarity, and if necessary, respectfully share your side of the story. Leaders are communicators, and understanding the full scope of the situation is key.Step 4: Remember Your Worth A write-up doesn’t define your value as a leader. In that moment, I felt undervalued, but I had to remind myself of my skills, talents, and the impact I’d already made. You’re still a leader. Don’t let one setback make you forget how capable you are. You’ve got this!Step 5: Use It as a Learning Moment Even in frustration, there’s always room for growth. Whether it’s improving your communication style or how you handle pressure, take the feedback and use it to evolve. As leaders, every situation is a learning opportunity, even when it doesn’t feel good.In the words of Viola Davis, "You either have to be part of the solution, or you're going to be part of the problem." Be part of the solution, sis. Handle that write-up with grace, keep your head high, and know that your worth goes far beyond one moment of criticism. You’ve got the power to rise above it! ✨

I Just Got Wrote Up...Now What?

This might sound crazy, but it’s true—sometimes we need to have those tough conversations about relationships. I know this isn't a normal blog about leadership however its about relationships, professional or personal plus it's the talk in social media right now. I was recently watching an interview with Cam Newton and Dr. Cheyenne Bryant, and let me tell you, it was eye-opening. Cam was being real about how he sees relationships and the roles men and women play. But Dr. Bryant didn’t hold back either—she checked him when needed, and it was a lesson for all of us.In the interview, Cam Newton talked about how he believes in traditional roles in relationships, like men leading and women following. But Dr. Bryant came through with some truth bombs, reminding us that relationships should be partnerships where both people support and uplift each other. She said that being strong and independent doesn’t mean we can’t have our partner’s back—it just means we know our worth.Here are a few takeaways from their convo:- Communication is Key: Cam and Dr. Bryant both agreed that talking openly with your partner is the foundation of any relationship. If you’re not communicating, you’re not connecting.- Respect and Support: Dr. Bryant made it clear that in a healthy relationship, respect and support go both ways. It’s not about one person leading and the other following—it’s about walking together.- Know Your Worth: Cam talked about the importance of knowing what you bring to the table, and Dr. Bryant added that this self-awareness is crucial for building strong, loving relationships.In the end, Dr. Cheyenne Bryant said something that really stuck with me: “You don’t lose yourself in a relationship; you find yourself.” And isn’t that the truth? So, the next time you’re in a relationship or thinking about one, remember to stay true to who you are and keep the lines of communication open.Until next time, keep shining, sis! ✨

This might sound crazy, but it's true...

Whew, y’all, this week has been something else. With so much going on, one thing that truly lit up my spirit was watching the DNC Convention. I don’t know about you, but seeing women of color—especially Black women—take the stage just does something to your soul. Whether you’re in corporate, entrepreneurship, or the nonprofit world, representation truly matters. It hits different when you see someone who looks like you, talks like you, and moves through this world with the same struggles and triumphs you’ve experienced.Each night, as I watched the convention, I couldn’t help but feel this overwhelming joy. The kind of joy that makes you want to stand up, clap, and shout, "Yes, sis, do that!" It was more than just a political event; it was a moment that breathed life into the dreams of so many Black women in leadership.&nbsp;For the next generation of Black women leaders, the DNC gave us hope—a reminder that our voices are powerful, our presence is necessary, and our leadership is undeniable. It showed us that we belong in every room where decisions are made, and that when we show up, we show out. This convention was a reminder that the ceiling is not only meant to be shattered; it’s meant to be obliterated.And can we talk about how seeing these powerful women on that stage makes it clear that the future is bright? We’re no longer waiting for a seat at the table; we’re building our own tables and bringing the chairs, too.But let me leave you with this little nugget from our forever First Lady, Michelle Obama, because it’s too good not to share: “Who’s going to tell Trump the presidency is a ‘Black job?’”&nbsp;That’s the energy we’re carrying into the future. Keep shining, y’all. ✨

When We Show Up, We Show Out: The DNC Convention’s Black Girl Magic

Hey y’all! It’s been a minute since I last wrote a blog, but I’m back, and today I’m getting a little vulnerable with you. I’ve been thinking about what to share, and the only thing that kept coming to mind is the power of your shoes. Let me explain.As I’m still figuring out exactly what God is calling me to do with this leaderships/personal development business, I’m reminded of this picture right here. It’s a snapshot from 2019 at this art exhibit called "Walk a Mile in My Shoes", taken when I visited my dad’s side of the family for the first time. I was 34 years old, and that was the first time I ever met them and visited his gravesite. You see, my father was murdered when I was just 3 years old. I’ve never smelled him, touched him, or heard the sound of his voice—the little things we often take for granted, I’ve never had the chance to experience.As life goes on, I never fully realized how deeply his absence would impact the way I make decisions, delegate tasks, trust others, resolve conflicts, and communicate in leadership. I was oblivious to think that personal and professional life were separate. The only thing that was separate was the masked character we play to get through the day.Three Pain Points of Not Having a Father for a Black 28-Year-Old New Leader:- Trust Issues: Without a strong paternal figure, trusting others, especially in leadership, can be challenging. You may find yourself questioning the intentions of those around you, which can hinder your ability to delegate effectively. &nbsp; - Resolution: Build trust slowly and deliberately. Start with small tasks and gradually increase responsibility as trust is earned. Open communication is key.- Conflict Resolution: Growing up without a father might lead to difficulty in handling conflict. You may avoid it altogether or overreact, unsure of how to navigate these situations calmly. &nbsp; -Resolution: Seek mentorship or training in conflict resolution. Understanding different perspectives and staying calm under pressure can make all the difference.- Confidence in Decision-Making: The absence of a father can result in self-doubt when making decisions. You might second-guess yourself, wondering if you’re making the right call. &nbsp; - Resolution: Practice self-reflection and seek feedback from trusted peers. Affirm your decisions by reminding yourself of past successes and learning from mistakes.So, you see, as leaders, each pair of shoes we put on leaves an imprint on our journey. When we embrace the power of our journey—our struggles, our triumphs, our pain—we can show up authentically in the power of our shoes. And that, my friends, is where true leadership begins.&nbsp;So to my First time leaders out there...Keep walking, keep leading, and never forget the power of your shoes. 🖤

The Power of Your Shoes: Embracing the Journey

Pretty happy black woman in stylish outfit sitting on bench in summer park and writing in notepad with smile

Hey Roadtripper,This week, I'm feeling super thankful because I hit a big milestone! A year ago, I decided to take a leap of faith and become an entrepreneur. For the first time ever, I didn't have a backup plan, no job lined up, and I live in pricey San Diego! It wasn’t like, "Oh yeah, I’m quitting." It all started in the fall of 2022. I was listening to one of Mike Todd's sermons when he said, "Some of y’all won’t even be working that same job by the end of Q1." It was like a lightbulb went off in my head! I grabbed my “Mind Your Business” journal and filled in the line that said, “I would quit my job by 3/31/2023.”When I saw that date, I thought, “Now G, I know you’re not telling me to quit my job.” I tried to ignore it, but the idea kept coming back, especially when I thought about Joseph’s story from the Bible. By the end of the year, I knew I had to quit my job and become an entrepreneur. But for what? I have so many talents and passions; I didn’t know where to start. But guess who did? Yep, you guessed it – that man above.Around this time, I went through a tough 4.5-month investigation. One of my coworkers, who will stay nameless, filed a complaint saying I was an angry Black woman. It was hard showing up each day, fighting through that investigation. But then something clicked. I was helping a peer navigate a conversation with her employee, who looked just like me.It was then I realized my purpose: helping others, especially those who look like me, navigate the workplace and life. Fast forward to today, one year and one month since I took that leap, and I hit my first milestone as an entrepreneur. I finished a 4-month Business Accelerator program!Here are three valuable lessons I learned:- Believe in Yourself: Even when it’s hard, trust your journey and your abilities. - Stay Resilient: Tough times don’t last, but tough people do. Keep pushing. - Help Others: Supporting others helps you find your purpose and strength.This week, I’m taking time to celebrate this win! Remember, Roadtripper, we’ve got this!Coach C

Blog

All Feedback Ain't Good Feedback: How I Handled Complaint...

I Just Got Wrote Up...Now What?

This might sound crazy, but it's true...

When We Show Up, We Show Out: The DNC Convention’s Black ...

The Power of Your Shoes: Embracing the Journey

How I Quit My Job, Became an Entrepreneur, and Found My P...