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Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems fine, but then someone says something that sticks with you in a way you didn’t expect?Let me tell you about a day I won’t forget. I woke up feeling ready to take on the world. I had my favorite blazer on, my coffee just right, and I was about to lead a team meeting. I’d prepared my points, made sure everyone had a chance to speak, and I even redirected a few conversations to stay on track. I felt good about it. I was in my element, doing my job to the best of my ability.But then, after the meeting, I got a message from someone on the team. They said, “You did well, but you seemed a little too confident. Maybe tone it down next time.”Wait, what?I was shocked. I hadn’t been loud. I wasn’t rude or mean. I was simply leading—like I was supposed to. But here I was, sitting at my desk, camera off, wondering if being confident, being clear, was somehow wrong.I started questioning everything. Did I speak too firmly? Should I have smiled more? Did I make people uncomfortable? Was I coming off too strong?It’s not easy when that kind of feedback hits. You start to doubt yourself, even when you know deep down that you did nothing wrong. And that’s the part no one really talks about. The quiet second-guessing that happens after you lead. The moment you wonder if your strength is too much for others to handle.But then, something clicked. I realized that I wasn’t the problem. I didn’t need to shrink myself to make others comfortable. I didn’t need to apologize for being confident or for leading the way I know best.Instead, I started doing something simple but powerful: I kept track of my wins. Every time I helped someone, solved a problem, or made a decision that worked, I wrote it down. I didn’t need anyone else’s approval—I had my own receipts. These little reminders helped me build my confidence back up.And now, whenever someone says I’m “too confident,” I simply smile and say, “Thank you.” Because I know that being confident isn’t a flaw—it’s an asset. I would rather be too confident than too small, and so should you.If you’ve ever felt like this, I want you to know something: you’re not alone. You’re not too much. The way you lead, the way you show up, is exactly what the world needs. Don’t shrink for anyone. Keep showing up with that same confidence, and remember—your leadership matters.

The Day I Was Called "Too Confident"

Shot of a woman crying while talking on her cellphone

Let’s talk about a moment most leaders don’t really bring up.You’ve just finished a Zoom meeting. You were prepared. You led with confidence. You made sure everyone was heard. You did the thing.Then the call ends. Camera off. Mic muted. And suddenly… your chest feels heavy.You sit in silence, staring at your screen, wondering why leading feels so lonely sometimes.“You’re Just... a Bit Intense” Imagine this: You’re leading a team meeting. You’ve done your prep. Your points are clear. You redirect the team when needed. You show up, speak up, and keep the group focused.Later, someone pulls you aside. “I just wanted to give a little feedback. You came across a bit intense. Maybe try to soften your tone next time.”Wait—what? You weren’t rude. You weren’t mean. You were simply leading. Now, you’re sitting at your desk, asking yourself: Did I do something wrong? Or am I just not what they expected?<h2>The Silent Doubt This part doesn’t get talked about enough.</h2>That moment when you start second guessing everything:“Was I too direct?” “Should I have smiled more?” “Do they think I’m difficult?” You replay the meeting in your mind like it’s a movie. You text a friend to ask if it came off wrong. You start to shrink, even though deep down—you know you did nothing wrong. That’s the part that hurts.The Turnaround: Show Up Anyway Here’s what’s real: You’re not too much. You’re not wrong for being clear. You’re not a problem for being confident.Sometimes people are uncomfortable with leadership that doesn't come wrapped in the way they expect it. That’s not yours to fix. So the next day? You show up the same way. You don’t shrink. In fact, you do one powerful thing: You start keeping receipts.You write down every win. Every time your leadership moved the needle. Every time your words helped someone grow. Every time you made a decision that worked. Because when those whispers of “too much” creep in, your receipts will remind you: You’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.<h2>Real Talk</h2> Leadership isn’t about making yourself smaller to fit into someone else’s idea of what “acceptable” looks like. It’s about knowing when to shine brighter—especially when your light makes folks squint. So if you've ever ended a meeting with a lump in your throat or questioned your own voice…You’re not alone. And you are not the problem. You are more than enough. And your way of leading matters. Keep going.

The Quiet Cry After the Zoom Call: A Story Leaders Don’t Talk About Enough

<h2>Embrace Authenticity and Self-Confidence</h2>One of the most important strategies for Black Gen Z women to excel in leadership roles is to embrace authenticity and build self-confidence. Understanding and embracing your identity can empower you to lead with genuine passion and commitment. Being true to yourself not only inspires others but also helps in forming strong, trust-based relationships within your team.Self-confidence is a powerful tool that can help you overcome challenges and naysayers. Encourage yourself to recognize your strengths and achievements. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support your growth. This personal support network can be invaluable in maintaining your confidence as you navigate leadership roles.<figure id="figure-81hqg5a5zm88yj2mt"><img id="81hqg5a5zm88yj2mt" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1985534690/photo/happy-black-woman.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=m-dHxvrxjsUAPHKGz-cOdPZ8oL03ZlX5G4T8WTrX_UU=" alt="Happy Black Woman" title="Happy Black Woman" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="null" data-positiony="null" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1985534690/photo/happy-black-woman.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=m-dHxvrxjsUAPHKGz-cOdPZ8oL03ZlX5G4T8WTrX_UU=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h2>Seek Mentorship and Networking Opportunities</h2>Having mentors can significantly impact your career trajectory, offering guidance, insights, and support based on their experiences. Seek out mentors who understand your unique challenges and can provide advice tailored to your needs. Mentorship can open doors to opportunities and provide a sounding board for your ideas and concerns.Networking is equally crucial. Engage with communities that prioritize diversity and inclusion. Attend events, join professional groups, and make connections with other leaders and peers in your field. Networking can provide a platform for exchanging ideas, gaining visibility, and finding allies who can advocate for you.<figure id="figure-wwlx0rqc69dm88yj2mt"><img id="wwlx0rqc69dm88yj2mt" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1640696321/photo/two-multiethnic-happy-businesswomen-working-in-the-office-using-their-computer.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=_Gw0siyHwy-cnpZseBPKHlTa08Uo6GDmxlCbnkiLffk=" alt="mentorship networking" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1640696321/photo/two-multiethnic-happy-businesswomen-working-in-the-office-using-their-computer.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=_Gw0siyHwy-cnpZseBPKHlTa08Uo6GDmxlCbnkiLffk=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>Leverage Education and Skill Development</h2>Continuous education and skill development are essential strategies for excelling in leadership roles. Pursue educational opportunities that enhance your knowledge and skills relevant to your industry. Whether it's formal education or online courses, staying updated with the latest trends and innovations can set you apart from your peers.Identify key skills required for leadership in your field and work on developing them. This might include public speaking, strategic planning, or financial acumen. Being well-rounded in these areas can increase your effectiveness as a leader.<figure id="figure-1tlyale7fm88yj2mt"><img id="1tlyale7fm88yj2mt" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1817456361/photo/five-things-you-need-to-know-about-cryptocurrency-and-taxes.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=1qtlgU5CI5xgxvGqP98a28StMd3b_ptTrklL0f75QQk=" alt="Five Things You Need To Know About Cryptocurrency And Taxes" title="Five Things You Need To Know About Cryptocurrency And Taxes" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="null" data-positiony="null" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1817456361/photo/five-things-you-need-to-know-about-cryptocurrency-and-taxes.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=1qtlgU5CI5xgxvGqP98a28StMd3b_ptTrklL0f75QQk=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h2>Advocate for Diversity and Inclusion</h2>As a Black Gen Z woman in leadership, you have a unique perspective that can contribute to fostering an inclusive workplace culture. Advocate for diversity and inclusion by encouraging open dialogues about these issues within your organization. Your efforts can help create an environment where everyone feels valued and empowered.Implementing diversity initiatives not only benefits marginalized groups but also enhances the overall performance of the organization. Diverse teams are more innovative and better equipped to understand the needs of a diverse customer base.<figure id="figure-pp5x4fzq8m88yj2mt"><img id="pp5x4fzq8m88yj2mt" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/648817898/photo/life-is-amazing-when-you-have-the-greatest-friends-around.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=hiZYuuiIuoQAC4jr3rzTAH1SImziPqxRsgqlqQMreRc=" alt="diversity inclusion" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/648817898/photo/life-is-amazing-when-you-have-the-greatest-friends-around.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=hiZYuuiIuoQAC4jr3rzTAH1SImziPqxRsgqlqQMreRc=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>Practice Resilience and Adaptability</h2>Leadership roles often come with challenges that require resilience and adaptability. Being able to bounce back from setbacks and adjust to changes is crucial for long-term success. Develop a mindset that views challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles.Resilience is built over time through experiences and learning from failures. Encourage yourself to step out of your comfort zone regularly, as this will prepare you for unexpected situations and enhance your problem-solving abilities.<h2>Cultivate Emotional Intelligence</h2>Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in effective leadership. Being aware of your emotions and understanding how they affect others can improve communication and interpersonal relationships. Practice empathy by actively listening to others' perspectives, which can lead to better collaboration and team dynamics.Leaders with high emotional intelligence are often more successful in navigating complex social situations and managing conflicts, making it a valuable asset in any leadership role.<figure id="figure-9xaqunnm1em88yj2mt"><img id="9xaqunnm1em88yj2mt" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2180768049/photo/emotional-intelligence-concept.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=cNmbEwjfPQP86SRc05mFr4R0cUPFoz8KtqGDCMQoSNY=" alt="emotional intelligence" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2180768049/photo/emotional-intelligence-concept.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=cNmbEwjfPQP86SRc05mFr4R0cUPFoz8KtqGDCMQoSNY=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>Take Initiative and Be Proactive</h2>Proactivity is a trait that can set you apart as a leader. Don’t wait for opportunities to come to you; seek them out actively. Take initiative by proposing new ideas, volunteering for challenging projects, or stepping up in times of uncertainty.Being proactive demonstrates your commitment to growth and improvement, both personally and organizationally. It also positions you as a leader who is willing to go the extra mile to achieve success.<h2>Balance Personal Life with Professional Aspirations</h2>Maintaining a balance between personal life and professional aspirations is crucial to avoiding burnout. As you climb the leadership ladder, it’s essential to create boundaries that allow you to enjoy personal time without compromising your career goals.Implement strategies such as time management techniques, prioritizing tasks, and setting realistic goals. This approach not only helps in achieving professional success but also ensures overall well-being.<figure id="figure-taqgv5rms4m88yj2mt"><img id="taqgv5rms4m88yj2mt" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1516660460/photo/pediatrician-at-home-visit.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=GXlHNev0kd5DNgBb78Yn8fD068K02i3Shl_APHofMNg=" alt="Pediatrician at home visit" title="Pediatrician at home visit" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="null" data-positionY="null" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>

Top Strategies for Black Gen Z Women to Excel in Leadership Roles

African smart businesswoman wearing formal shirt, smiling, presenting project, business plan in front of colleagues, brainstorming, putting post it on whiteboard in meeting room at modern office.

This week marked the kickoff of the blackout chaos, and whew, it’s been A LOT! If you didn’t know, aside from being a leadership coach for over a decade, I’m also walking that first-time entrepreneur life. And right now, I’m clocking in at one of the infamous retail leaders.Every day, I deal with all kinds of folks, from the sweet grannies who make your day to the ones who test your patience with that same energy they brought to spades night. Take this lady, for example. She rolled up with a shirt she bought over a year ago, talking about how her son couldn’t fit it anymore. Sis, the shirt was practically vintage at this point!Normally, I’d try to work something out, but the way she got loud and rude? I had to pause, adjust my crown, and remind myself: I’m a leader, not a doormat.Now, here’s the tea: saying no doesn’t mean you’re being mean or difficult. It means you respect yourself and the role you’re in. So, I calmly explained the policy and held my ground. Did she get mad? Sure did. But you know what? That’s not my problem.If you’re a leader, especially a Black woman in leadership, people will test you, sometimes because they’re not used to seeing us in charge. So, how do you set boundaries and protect your peace? Here are 3 practical steps to saying no (with a little Black culture flair):1. Get Clear on Your Policy (a.k.a. Your Non-Negotiables) Think of this as your “mama rules.” Growing up, you knew certain things weren’t up for discussion. No running in and out of the house. No dishes left in the sink overnight. The same applies to leadership. Know your boundaries and stick to them.2. Say No with Confidence (Channel Your Auntie Energy) You know that auntie who can shut down nonsense with one look? Be her. When you say no, do it firmly and kindly. For example: “I hear what you’re saying, but this is what we’re able to do.” No need to over-explain or apologize for doing your job.3. Prioritize What Matters (Remember Who You’re Driving For) As a leader, you’re driving the bus, and your team is riding with you. If you let every passenger tell you where to go, you’ll lose sight of the destination. Keep your focus on what truly matters—your goals and your growth.Saying no isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. Remember, sis, every no is a yes to your leadership, your peace, and your respect. And trust me, when you hold your boundaries, people notice—and they’ll respect you even more for it.So, adjust your crown, take a deep breath, and keep driving. You got this! 🖤👑Sis, let me talk to you real quick. Setting boundaries in leadership isn’t just about protecting your time; it’s about protecting your peace, your energy, and your confidence. And as a Black woman stepping into your first leadership role? Whew, chile, that’s a whole new ballgame. Folks will test you, assume you're the “strong Black woman” who can handle it all, and then some. But you know what? It’s time to flip that script.Here’s how to say “no” with confidence and culture:1. Channel Your Inner Auntie Wisdom You know that one auntie who doesn’t mince words? The one who can hit you with a “bless your heart” and have you rethinking your whole life? Be her. When someone asks you for something that’s not your responsibility or stretches you too thin, smile and say, “I can’t do that, but let me help you figure out another solution.” It’s giving firm, yet caring—just like Auntie.2. Use the Beyoncé Pause Remember how Queen Bey pauses during interviews before she answers? She’s not rushing; she’s thinking. When someone pressures you for an answer, don’t feel the need to fill the silence. Take a moment, breathe, and say, “Let me get back to you on that.” That pause buys you time to decide whether the request aligns with your goals—or if it’s something to politely decline.3. Bring Out the Black Mama Tone We all know that tone—warm but firm, a mix of “I love you” and “don’t try me.” Practice it. When you have to say no, deliver it with calm authority. For example: “I hear you, but that’s not something I can take on right now.” No extra explanations. No apologies. That’s your boundary, and it’s not up for debate.&nbsp; Final Thoughts Saying no as a leader isn’t about being mean; it’s about respecting yourself and teaching others to respect you, too. When you step into your leadership, remember: boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re bridges to your peace and purpose. So, sis, next time someone tries you? Pause, channel your inner Beyoncé, and let that Black Mama tone shine through. You’ve got this. 👑

Sis, Let’s Talk About Saying No as a Leader

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, and you know how holidays have a way of making you reflect. I was sitting there thinking about where I was mentally and emotionally 15 years ago versus where I am now. I also thought about who was still here to share the day with me.When I first moved to San Diego at 24, the family was deep. My cousin Michelle, Aunt Mae, great Uncle Windell and Aunt Verta—they were all here. My younger cousins Jahquise and Brittany were close too. Fast forward to now, I’m 39, and most of them have either passed on or moved on. Yesterday, it was just me, my younger cousin Jaz (aka Bighead), and my great Uncle Gene. We hit up Sizzler for Thanksgiving dinner, and honestly? It was such a blessing to sit with family and have those real, unfiltered conversations. Sometimes life slows you down just enough to remind you how much those moments matter.Later that night, I got comfy at home and started watching snippets of the Hardly Initiated podcast on YouTube. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s these two brothers sharing their faith journey while being honest about life’s struggles. They had Jerry Flowers Jr. on, and he dropped a word. One of the hosts mentioned being called a “lukewarm Christian,” and Jerry explained it perfectly. He said being lukewarm is like being married but acting single—you’re living in the gray.That stuck with me because it hit close to home. I started thinking about areas where I’ve been lukewarm—like my business and even some family relationships. Sis, starting a business? Whew, it’s like birthing a whole child. And trying to be the generational breaker in the family? That’s a whole nother type of work. I catch myself sometimes wanting to keep things the same just because it’s easier, even when I know it’s time for change.But here’s what I’m learning: being lukewarm isn’t an option if you’re serious about growth. You’re either all in or all out. The Bible says it plainly—you’re either hot or cold.So let me ask you: What are you lukewarm about? That business idea you’ve been sitting on? That promotion you’re scared to go after? The relationship that needs your attention? Sis, it’s time to decide. Either you’re going to go for it, or you’re not.Life’s detours are there to remind us what’s really important. When you step out of that gray area and fully commit to your next move, you’ll find excitement in every new version of yourself. And guess what? The best is yet to come.Let’s go, sis. The time for playing it safe is over. It’s your season! 🖤✌🏾 Coach C

Sis, It’s Time to Stop Being Lukewarm About Your Growth

Last week, I had the pleasure of attending an event hosted by the Black Chamber of Commerce here in San Diego called "Her Story, Our Strength". The event was all about celebrating the incredible journeys of women who inspire, empower, and pave the way forward. It was a beautiful mix of women from different ages and backgrounds, each with their own dreams, challenges, and ambitions.As I grabbed my plate from Bowlegged BBQ (shout out to them for that delicious food!), I sat at the head of a table, and soon a woman named Sara joined me. She didn’t have a plate, so we struck up a conversation. Sara shared her health goal of losing over 10 pounds, and without thinking, I asked her, "From where?" I was surprised because she looked perfectly fine to me. She laughed and explained that her goal wasn’t about how she looked but about feeling better about herself. I could respect that; I’m on my own journey of growth, just in a different direction.We talked about work, and when I shared how I left my corporate job to bridge the gap for Black women in C-level roles, she opened up too. She told me how, despite earning her MBA, she was passed over for a role, only to see someone else, with less experience, get the chance. At first, I thought it was because of her race, but then she said something that stuck with me: “God had something better for me.”This got me thinking: sometimes, we set goals thinking they’ll make us feel more qualified or more worthy, but often, those goals aren’t the ones we really need. In the workplace, it’s not always about degrees or certifications. It’s about knowing when to exit a situation that no longer serves you and when to go for what truly aligns with your purpose.If you’re feeling stuck, ask yourself: Is this where I’m supposed to be, or am I holding on because I think I have to prove myself? Goals are important, but your peace matters too. Sometimes, the best move is valuing yourself enough to create your own lane. Remember, leaving isn’t quitting—it’s leveling up.&nbsp;

Blog

The Day I Was Called "Too Confident"

The Quiet Cry After the Zoom Call: A Story Leaders Don’t ...

Top Strategies for Black Gen Z Women to Excel in Leadersh...

Sis, Let’s Talk About Saying No as a Leader

Sis, It’s Time to Stop Being Lukewarm About Your Growth

Knowing When to Let Go and Level Up in Your Career"